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| The whole family with Brandon's lawyer and judge right after we officially became a family of four. |
When I was just a tiny tot, I informed my parents that I wanted a younger sibling. My specific request was for a chocolate baby because I thought black babies were the most beautiful things in the whole world. After my parents informed me that vanilla people cannot produce chocolate babies I told them that I would settle for a little brother as long as I could name him Skunk because I thought boys were stinky. I also starting talking to God and asked Him if He could help my parents procure a stinky baby brother for me (I'm not sure I understood at that point that God is not a Santa Claus type figure...I'm also pretty sure I didn't use the work 'procure' in my prayers) and over a decade later, after becoming Brandon's big sister I can say I've learned at least two things: 1) God always answers prayers...but always does so on His timetable and 2) Be careful what you pray for. :)
The reactions to the news that my parents were getting another kid just as they got rid of the first one were mixed to say the least. They ranged from thinking that my family must be completely and certifiably insane to that my parents were modern day super heroes. Well, I can promise you that no one around here is a super hero. We probably are crazy, but for a whole host of reasons that were around long before Brandon ever came into the picture. In fact, when people comment on how "good" we are because we took Brandon in, it makes us very uncomfortable. Of course, we understand that it is a heartfelt compliment given with the best of intentions, but we're just four humans trying to make sense out of this life together and not kill each other in the process. You know, we're just a family...and a pretty normal one at that.
Some days I wish it all could be different, that somehow, I could change the story and remove all the junk that went on in Brandon's childhood and make him a biological Sanford from birth. However, I've watched It's a Wonderful Life enough times to know that details are important...change one detail and you change the entire story...and this life, just as it is, with all of it's pain and joy is the story God is writing for Brandon and all the members of our family. Adoption was the way we were supposed to become a family and having been a fan of adoption for as long as I can remember, I kind of love the fact that it's the way my earthly family formed. After all, adoption is how I became God's daughter and that's how He is forming my eternal family.
In our minds we're not special, we're just doing our best to live out the story God is writing for our lives. Believe me, it's not easy and I certainly wouldn't say adoption is for everyone, but the following from a post found on Q Ideas breaks my heart in ways I can't really explain,
"In the United States, there are approximately 116,000 foster children waiting to be adopted. That means a judge has either severed the rights of the original parents or the parents have voluntarily signed their children over to the government.
To put this into perspective, we might compare the number of American orphans to the purported 16 million Southern Baptists who attend more than 42,000 churches nationwide. Quick math reveals that there are roughly 138 Southern Baptists for every child in the American foster care system waiting to be adopted. To say it another way, this single denomination has an enormous opportunity to eradicate the orphan crisis in America."
(You can find the entire post here...I agree with most of what the writer says and think he makes excellent points)
Again, adoption is not for everyone and I would never, especially having been through the process with my family, say that it is. However, I do believe that Christians can do better. I believe that the number of foster children should be much lower...not because Christians have super powers or anything...but because we have a God who can and wants to do incredible things through us. When it comes to my family, we're just completely ordinary and normal people who took a leap of faith and trusted God to help us land on our feet. Some would say that's courageous, others would say it's crazy. Personally, I'd say it's probably both. However, during this year, and the two years before it while Brandon lived with us and we waited to adopt, I've come to realize that when you pour all the love and grace you have into another person to the point that you think you're completely spent, God fills you up again...and His resources never run out (good thing...because I can run out pretty quickly some days). We don't do this family thing on our own...it requires God's daily sufficient grace...and a lock on my bedroom door to keep the little brother out when I need a break. :)
So, tomorrow we'll celebrate. We'll celebrate that we're family. We'll celebrate that we made it a year without killing each other. An argument will probably start mid-celebration...but only because Brandon, though not biologically related, seems to have been born with the Sanford stubborn streak and he and I both insist that we are right all the time and that means we bicker on an hourly basis...but we'll still celebrate...because during the good, the bad, and the ugly moments we do love each other. After all, while we're not good or special because we fell in love with Brandon...families are good and truly special and as such should be celebrated. And celebrate we shall.
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