Today was one of those days. Today, it was a wonder that I didn't plop myself down on the floor and have a good cry. I think the fact that I didn't proves two things: 1) God is good. 2) I'm growing up.
Nothing today went the way I planned or expected it to. Nothing.
I do not like it when things do not go according to plan. When I was younger, when things went crazy and life got chaotic, I would cry. It stressed me out to the point that I couldn't handle it. Today, everything was crazy and chaotic...but I didn't cry. Thus, I believe I just might be growing up. :)
Today we had Tasty Tuesday at Rosemont for the kids. We're having Terrific Tuesdays this summer and this was our first. I really thought I was prepared. I bought, what I thought would be, more than enough food. I had a Bible study planned out using Romans 8:28 (I'll explain the connection a little later). I had a power point presentation ready. I had set-up the fellowship hall on Monday. I wrote out a minute by minute schedule for the 2 hours the kids would be at the church the night before. I went to bed thinking I was ready.
Then, I woke up late on Tuesday. I forgot the butter and eggs at home and had to run to Wal-Mart...which meant I got to the church even later.
Each child decorated his/her own chef hat. I had a plan to give out awards to each child for their decorated hats (i.e., Most Colorful, Most Creative, etc.) and had little certificates ready to print out at the church...but the fonts and formatting were all messed up when I tried to print them and I decided that I would just scrap the awards (which was the beginning of my carefully planned out schedule getting totally messed up).
Then, several of the adults that I thought were going to be around to help...couldn't make it. My mom was one of them. My grandmother is staying with us this week. As my mom was helping her down the stairs today, my grandmother pushed my mom and my mom fell down the stairs on our porch...and then Grandma sat down on the steps and waited for my mom to get up from the ground to help her. Somehow, Grandma's hand started bleeding (the doctor said that it likely started bleeding because of her age, not because she "fell"). During Tasty Tuesday, my mom took my grandmother to the doctor to get checked out because Grandma insisted that she was hurt. So, I was worried about my mom (I was worried about my grandmother, but I knew the doctors would take care of her...and I knew that my mom, although she was probably hurt worse, would not get checked out. I was right.), who came to the church crying and completely stressed out to tell me what happened before they went to the doctor's office, when children started showing up at the church.
And did they ever show up.
Honestly, I expected 15, maybe 20 kids to show up today. We had almost 40. In case your math skills aren't great, 40 is twice as many as 20. We had kids ranging in age from 4 to 12. That's a big age gap. Having 30+ kids was unexpected and great on the one hand...but I wasn't mentally prepared for that many children. My plan wasn't prepared for almost 40 children. My carefully thought out schedule for the 2 hours had to be thrown out completely because with so many, we had to split up into smaller groups instead of doing everything in one big group.
Don't misunderstand me...having almost 40 kids was awesome. It was exciting. Had it not already been a stressful day, I would have been totally pleasantly surprised. However, for a girl like me who wants everything to go according to plan, when my plans had to be thrown out because of the large numbers, I started freaking out a bit. Would there be enough food? (I don't think any children went home hungry.) Did I have enough help? (We probably could have used more help, but the help I had was awesome and we made it work.) How could I talk over 30+ rowdy kids to give instructions? (I used a microphone and it worked...mostly.) I tried to remain calm, but my mind was racing.
The Bible lesson today was on Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..." We talked how the separate ingredients for cookies (salt, butter, raw eggs, flour, etc.) aren't necessarily tasty on their own. However, when they are all put together, the end result is quite good. In life, not all experiences are good...some are painful, stressful, sad, etc. However, we know that God can take all those things and ultimately bring about something good. I have no idea if the kids got what I was trying to teach them, but I think it was a timely lesson for me.
Today was not one of my good days. I was stressed. I didn't handle everything they way I would have liked to, and I don't feel as though I did my best. I don't like that feeling. There was a lot of craziness and chaos and I didn't have the best reaction (but I still didn't cry...so, I'm improving!). Yet, I know that God is in control and even this crazy, chaotic, stressful day will bring about some good in my life.
In certain pieces of music there is a discordant part that usually ends in a lovely resolution. The dissonant parts usually make my skin crawl and my ear eagerly anticipates the resolution. I like for everything to sound pretty and harmonious. Sometimes my life is an inharmonious mess. It isn't pretty. I don't like the way it sounds. However, God is the composer and I believe the resolution will come; ultimately, the overall melody and song that is my life will be something beautiful...something good. All things work together for the good. All things. ALL THINGS. :)
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