We were only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don’t get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won’t solve all the mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers, bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again, until we are called home.

- To Write Love on Her Arms

The quote from TWLOHA is on the desktop of my computer. I see it everyday. Today, it rang true in ways it never has before...

13 Things I Want You To Know

Dear Baby Brother, 

Today, you are 13 years old. Where has the time gone? Just yesterday I met you and as we made our way to the GA Aquarium, you took my hand to cross the street and in my mind and heart you were my brother...forever and always. Now it's years later and you're  taller and smarter and don't really need to hold my hand to cross the street...you're growing up in every way which simultaneously excites me and scares me. The world is a scary place and part of me wants to protect you from anything and everything...but I know that I can't do that. Instead, I'm going to tell you 13 things I think you should know as you enter the crazy time known as the teenage years which are just a short bridge to the land known as adulthood. Godspeed little brother, because if you think your life is difficult because of homework and parent-set bedtimes...just wait. 

Adventures in Adulthood: One Month Later

"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out." ~ Anton Chekhov 

Friends, I'm kind of over it.

This adulthood thing is wearing me out.

Adventures in Adulthood: The First Week

Given that as I'm starting to write this it is almost 10 o'clock TN time on Thursday (who knows when I'll hit the publish button), I have now officially been here for one week. One week into this adventure called adulthood, I have a lot of things running through my brain and sure, there's a mixed bag of emotions going on inside of me, but more than anything, I feel grateful. Simply grateful. 

Happiness Happened Here

If it doesn't break your heart, it isn't love

If it doesn't break your heart, it's not enough,

It's when you're breaking down with your insides coming out

That's when you find out what your heart is made of...

- Switchfoot's "Yet"

Well, it finally happened. I knew it was coming. The breakdown. The point when it all just became too much, when the stress had finally built up to such a point that it came out in the form of tears streaming down my cheeks and snot running out of my nose. The point when reality set in and that reality scared me.

All Things

Today was one of those days. Today, it was a wonder that I didn't plop myself down on the floor and have a good cry. I think the fact that I didn't proves two things: 1) God is good. 2) I'm growing up.


Nothing today went the way I planned or expected it to. Nothing.


I do not like it when things do not go according to plan. When I was younger, when things went crazy and life got chaotic, I would cry. It stressed me out to the point that I couldn't handle it. Today, everything was crazy and chaotic...but I didn't cry. Thus, I believe I just might be growing up. :)

30 Before 30

2097.


I have 2097 days before I turn 30...or 5 years and 9 months (minus a few days). When I turned 24 a few months ago, I started making a list of 30 things I wanted to do before I was 30. When I reveal my big plans a little later in this post, you'll see that while there are 30 things listed, one of them is to come up with a 30th idea. Thinking of 30 things turned out to be a lot harder than I thought...mostly because I gave myself some pretty strict rules about what could go on the list. For instance, sure, I would love to be married and have kids by the time I'm 30...but I don't want to put that on a to-do list. If I get married it should be in God's timing, not mine. I've learned better than to give God an ultimatum. Plus, if God is preparing someone to marry me, it may take Him a little extra time to get the guy ready to be able to live with me...I'm a little neurotic. :) And then, I might never get married. No reason to feel as though I've failed if I can't cross it off the list because God just may have a different plan for me. So, basically everything on the list is something I can do without changing any of my present life circumstances in any major way. No major life decisions made the list either (such as going back to school for another master's degree or my doctorate though I would like to do that and actually plan on doing that at some point). I concentrated more on having fun. :) So, without further ado, I present my list of 30 before 30...

One Year Later...

Tomorrow is June 3rd and besides being the day that Lorelai was supposed to marry Luke on Gilmore Girls before the whole relationship went bust, it also marks the one year anniversary of Brandon becoming a Sanford and the four of us becoming a family forever.

The whole family with Brandon's lawyer and judge right after we officially became a family of four.

Homeward Bound

"I'm from Indiana, she made me what I've become,

Everyone has their reasons, one is always where they're from."

(The above are lyrics from Jon McLaughlin's song, 'What I Want' off of his new album, Promising Promises. FYI: He's an INCREDIBLE piano player.)

I grew up in a small town (yes, I realize that the above lyrics are not perfectly suited to my situation because I have never even been to Indiana much less grew up there). Jon McLaughlin's lyrics would suggest, and I would agree, that where you're from has a great impact on who you become. I am a small town girl. While I share many similarities with my friends that grew up in larger areas, there are some differences in the ways we approach and see life. Of course, there are many causes for those differences, but I think the place we grew up is a big one. 

In that small town that I called home for the majority of my life is a church and I grew up in that church...in more ways than one.

Why I Love it Live

Note: This is a not so deep post about nothing truly important to most people. :)

Hi, my name is Alex and I am addicted to attending live concerts. No really. I am. My addiction is so extreme in fact that a few months ago I started an excel sheet with the name of musicians and bands that I would like to see and I keep track of where they are at all times. It is color coded. Orange if they're in the southeast. Yellow if they're in Georgia (I'll need to have a special color for Tennessee now). Dark gray if they aren't touring. And yes, I include European and other overseas dates just so the chart is truly complete.

Most Improved

I remember in elementary school thinking that the award for 'Most Improved' was silly and did not belong at honor's day. (Just so you know, I am not at all proud of my uppity-ness.) I preferred the awards that ended in -est such as Highest, Brightest, and Best...and ended up getting a few over the years. School was never especially difficult for me and I am quite suited for and have always thrived in the role of student. Given that it has always been somewhat effortless for me (college provided a few doozies with courses like Physics and Organic Chemistry), I haven't always appreciated the struggles of others. 

Curveballs and Comfort Zones

"We had some random things happen to us; some good, some bad, some you can't explain, some you dont want to, but one thing we did learn for sure...when God throws a curveball...don't duck...you just might miss something."

(The above quote is from the movie, Extreme Days, which is not a great cinematic achievement, but does provide a few laughs and 90 or so minutes of decent entertainment.)

When I started this blog the first time, and now again this second time, it was with the best intentions to share little tidbits from my life...to have a space to reflect on what God was teaching me through all the crazy adventures I seemed to be going on, most specifically, sisterhood and seminary. However, it seems that for the past few years life continues to speed by and this little corner of the internet is left neglected and empty. I write hundreds of posts in my head and for some reason they never find their way here. However, I have some news...and it is big.

Here I Go Again...

I started this blog in the summer of 2009. I wrote for a while, then I stopped. I wrote again the next summer. Then, I stopped. I totally skipped the summer of 2011 and didn't write even once. Now, summer 2012 is fast approaching and here I am, attempting to do something that I've failed miserably at every time I've tried...

I've heard that the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I'll let you draw your own conclusions about my mental state.

Can I guarantee that I will write faithfully past this summer? Absolutely not. Can I guarantee that I will write faithfully throughout this summer? Nope. Can I guarantee that if I do write that it will be often? Not so much.

I did, however, decide to re-design and start over in hopes that every now and then I could and would put pen to paper or rather, fingers to keys, and write down a few of my thoughts. I find writing to be cathartic and fun and given that I am now finished with graduate school and I am not writing several papers at one time, I actually miss writing. Also, there's some joy that comes in knowing that if and when I do write my thoughts down in this little corner of the internet that I've carved out for myself, while you may judge me or form opinions about me...you will not be giving me a grade. Writing for a grade is totally different than simply writing to get my thoughts out. Thus, I should also say...don't expect graduate-level thoughts all of the time or even most of the time.

Most days, I'm not actually that deep. I'm trying to figure life out just like everyone else and every now and then, I may just come here to share the little I've learned so far along this journey or maybe I'll come just to talk about the journey itself and what I'm trying to learn. I'm not going to put too many limitations on it, what comes out, when it comes out will be what you will find here. I imagine at times, I may even be surprised by what finds its way here. :)