13 Things I Want You To Know

Dear Baby Brother, 

Today, you are 13 years old. Where has the time gone? Just yesterday I met you and as we made our way to the GA Aquarium, you took my hand to cross the street and in my mind and heart you were my brother...forever and always. Now it's years later and you're  taller and smarter and don't really need to hold my hand to cross the street...you're growing up in every way which simultaneously excites me and scares me. The world is a scary place and part of me wants to protect you from anything and everything...but I know that I can't do that. Instead, I'm going to tell you 13 things I think you should know as you enter the crazy time known as the teenage years which are just a short bridge to the land known as adulthood. Godspeed little brother, because if you think your life is difficult because of homework and parent-set bedtimes...just wait. 

Life is not fair...

...sometimes good things happen to bad people, sometimes hard work isn't rewarded, sometimes the best man doesn't win...and it's not fair...but it's okay. Instead of getting upset, be a good person no matter what, work hard no matter what, and be the best man you can be no matter what. 

Life is hard...

...but that's okay and the way I think it is supposed to be. If it were easy or perfect or happy all of the time, we would have no reason to long for heaven. We were created for a different place. This world is not our home, this is a pit stop on the journey to the place where we belong. When life is hard, remember you weren't created for this world. Embrace pain and trials because they show us how much we desperately need God and be reminded that He is always with you. 

Love is a choice...

Hollywood will tell you that love is a gushy feeling that gives you the warm fuzzies and  maybe it partly is...but most days,it's a choice. People can be quite unlovable. They're going to annoy you and frustrate you. Sometimes you have to choose to love people when the warm fuzzies are nowhere to be felt. Sometimes I have to choose to love you. Sometimes you have to choose to love me. However, love is always the better choice than hate. Hate may be easier at times, but love, though difficult, is something we all need. Love isn't perfect (at least when it is human love, God's love is perfect), but it's one of the best things we've got...so love boldly and extravagantly.

People are not perfect...

...we're human. We mess up. We hurt each other. And despite our best efforts to be good to one another and to care for each other, we still often trip each other (albeit unintentionally sometimes) as we walk alongside one another on this journey called life. We just don't get it right. Forgive others when they fail to meet your expectations and when they don't measure up and when they aren't exactly what you need them to be and when they disappoint you. Forgive people their humanness.

Your actions speak volumes...

Okay, so yes, this is a slight twist on the old cliche "actions speak louder than words." While I'm attempting to not fill this note with cliches, some of them are good and you're just going to have to deal with it. What you do and how you do it and why you do it is important. People are watching and determining their opinion of you at all times. More than your words, your actions tell people who you are and what you're made of. I believe you're made up of good things...you've got heaps of hope and spunk in spades...and the world needs both. Be kind and do things for others, even when it isn't convenient or fun...and do it all with a smile.

Your words have power...

I know that, quite often, you talk without thinking. That's not good. You know that words can hurt. While you should always speak the truth, you should also speak with kindness and concern for other people's feelings. Think before you speak.

Your story has value...

You have had more than your fair share (as I've already said, life is not fair) of pain and adversity to overcome. However, your story is yours and it is making you who you'll be and has made you who you are. Own it. Live it. Don't let your struggles define you, rather let them refine you into something and someone better. You only get one chance, make sure your story has a happy ending. 

You are not grown-up...

...and you still have a lot to learn. If we were Jewish, you'd have a Bar Mitzvah and from what I hear you'd be recognized as a "man." Well, we believe Jesus was the Messiah and you have at least 5 more years before you'll technically be a grown-up and probably even longer before I'm willing to think of you as such. (You're my little brother and part of me will always think of you and see you as the little kid that came into our lives a few years ago.) Don't rush childhood and for heaven's sake, please don't be one of those angsty teenagers. Live life and enjoy it. Becoming a grown-up is shocking and hard enough without rushing it.

You were wanted and you are loved...

...I started praying for you when I was just a little girl. I wanted a little brother desperately. God finally answered that prayer when I was 21. I know you have no idea what Mama, Daddy, and I went through to make you one of us, to make you a Sanford. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it. We wanted you to be a member of our family and we love you with a crazy kind of love...there's nothing you could ever do to make us stop loving you. In the words of the Avett Brothers, "there is nothing worth sharing like the love that let's us share our last name."  Little brother, the day you became a Sanford was one of the coolest and happiest days of my life. 

God wants you more and loves you more...

As much as we prayed for you and wanted you and love you, God loves you more than we ever could and more than you can possibly imagine. His love is unconditional and knows no limits. Even though we desperately try to love each other unconditionally, even the strongest of human love wavers at times. As much as Mama and Daddy wanted to adopt you and call you theirs, God wants to adopt you as His son even more. And as cool as you think Daddy is, he is 2nd best when it comes to God. When the time comes that Mama, Daddy, and I can't be around...remember that God is always with you and always loving you.

You have a God-shaped hole in your soul...

...but don't worry, it's normal. This hole can and should only be filled by God. We all at different times attempt to fill it with everything else...money, drugs, alcohol, power, achievement, friends, etc. And while you'll probably be normal and try to fill that void with something other than God, it won't work. If you go on and put God there from the start, you'll save yourself a lot of heartache. 

Don't settle...

...for good when you can have great. Don't do things because they're easy. Be the best you you can be. Follow your dreams and your passions. Be bold. Be fearless. Don't be dull when you can shine. You are amazing and full of incredible ideas and talents...let 'em out and change the world. God made you to be extraordinary, don't be happy with being ordinary.

Finally, you better respect girls...

...or so help me I will drive the 6 hours home and kick your tail. I know you've started thinking that girls are "hot" and all that stuff, but allow me to give you some more appropriate descriptors...girls are: cute, beautiful, and pretty. They have minds and interests. You can find a pretty and smart one and marry her after you turn 30. Until then, just be friends...okay? 

Happy Birthday to my awesome, quirky, talented, crazy, silly, funny, annoying at times, smart, spunky, thirteen year old brother! I hope this day pales in comparison to how awesome the rest of your life is going to be...but I hope it is an awesome day all the same. :)